Christianese 101: ‘God said..he’s my husband!!’

–> Questions to ask yourself to see if God told you who your husband <–

So, you’ve found ‘The One’! The guy that makes your heart flutter, makes you skip a bit, or makes you sing. Well, maybe he doesn’t do all that for you, but something has whispered in your ear: ‘He’s the ONE!’ Maybe your excited about it or maybe your ready to run for the hills. Either way you need to discern whether or not this word came from God or the devil because if you don’t know this by now, Satan can and will speak to you every now and again to throw you off track. Don’t fret, I have ten questions that will help bring more clarity to whether or not you’re hearing from God about that special(or dreadful ) someone.

This happens to both women and men where they feel like God spoke to them that a person was their future spouse. The problem is that a lot of people don’t know the leading or voice of God, and, instead, let their emotions take full reign over what decisions they are doing. Here’s a check list with biblical support that can help you make sure you’re hearing from God or if you’re hearing from the devil about your future mate.

Now, I know some people don’t believe God can reveal your future spouse at all, but my mother had her future husband, my now dad(married for 30+ years), revealed to her through a dream while she was dating two other guys. This is why I always preach that you don’t have to be living perfect when God sends your mate.

1. Do you almost 100% of the time hear accurately from God? If you’ve just started going to church it’s more than likely if something or someone tells you a guy’s your husband, you best just leave it alone until it happens. However if you have a close and intimate and older relationship with Christ and know that you hear from Him correctly the majority of time He speaks then go to the next point (please check out ‘God Said’ for more information about hearing from God).
2. Are you and he equally yoked? The Bible tells us to not be yoked with non believers, so if the person God is speaking to you about is unsaved or just not even trying to really have a committed relationship with God, be very cautious about receiving this word that they are your spouse. (2 Cor. 6:14-15)
3. Is he dating or married to another person? One thing that I commonly hear when women or even men are stating that they heard a person is their spouse is that the person is in a relationship with someone else! Now, I’m not going to say that it isn’t possible for God to think you are mature enough as a believer to tell you that another person is yours while they are currently in a relationship, because anything is possible(I’ve actually heard some rare stories where the person was accurate in hearing from God), but I will tell you to be very cautious. My main problem with this is that God’s timing is perfect. Why would He tell you that you’re going to be with someone who is currently interested in someone else? Why would He link you up with someone whose heart currently belongs to someone else? And as far as marriage goes, God would not break apart anything He put together(Mark 10:2-9).
4. Is this person your ex? I noticed in most cases with exes there are a lot of emotions and feelings involved, this is a good ground for Satan to breed confusion and heartbreak. It’s not that God cannot hook you up back with your ex, it’s just that you probably shouldn’t even think about this guy, until he actually approaches you. God is not the author of confusion(1 Cor. 14:33) and will not send you a person who is stringing you a long and not really making a real commitment to you.
5. Is your attraction to the guy/woman more lust based? When you honestly think about this person that is being placed in your heart, do you only think lustful thoughts? Or do you find yourself just wanting to get to know them better, wanting to take care of them, or wanting to make them smile? If all you’re thinking about is what sex will be like or how you want to do sexual things to them, you might want to step back from them or thinking about them for a bit. Lust can cloud or minds and thoughts about things, even if there is no actual sex involved yet. This will make us develop a bond or attachment to a person way to soon(Song of Solomon 8:4). This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have sexual thoughts/attraction about the person in question, it just means these things shouldn’t consume or lead your decision on what you believe.
6. Did you receive confirmation? One thing I noticed when I ask God about something that I’ve been wondering about is He doesn’t hold back in not only responding to the question, but also in providing confirmation to His answer. Even if you’re having a difficult time believing at first, God is more than happy to continue to give you more signs on whether or not what you heard was actually from Him. Confirmation can be, but is not limited to:

• People telling you directly what God told you in private without you saying anything to them.
• A sign happening after you and God agreed on it during your time in prayer.
• More scripture to support or solidify your stance.

Do you see ‘signs’ and ‘confirmations’, such as two doves snuggling on a tree or a sign saying ‘Love is in the air’, as God saying this man is the one? Sometimes we think God’s confirmation is small insignificant and moderately coincidental things that pop up in our life, but this is not always true. God’s confirmation usually brings clarity and full assurance to what He’s already spoken to you specifically.

7. Has God been speaking to you about preparing to be a wife? If you have heard from God about who your husband is have you already been speaking to Him about preparing to be a wife? If not, that’s fine, but after God has spoken to you who your husband is, have you felt an urge and desire to prepare to be a wife? I notice most times when God does speak to a woman about who her spouse is, and the spouse to be does NOT immediately ask her out, He begins molding her into who He needs her to become to sustain the marriage. Sometimes God will reveal your spouse, so you can be aware that you need to prepare for marriage. (Read the story of Ruth or Esther, both had to go through preparation before being positioned to be picked as a bride)
8. When you pray and fast to God about what has been placed in your heart to gain more clarity, do you find yourself gaining more peace(able to stay still and wait on God and not think about this man at all)or do you find yourself falling into more confusion(anxiety about if this man is or is not your husband, frustration against God, fixating on this man/husband thing more than God, work, etc)? Fasting and praying shouldn’t cause you to have contention against God. Nor should it cause you to start idolizing marriage and this man or woman over God. If you find yourself falling into these things, instead of peace and clarity then you probably should stop praying about this person and just set these questions to the side. Focus more on your walk and relationship with God than focusing on getting married or whether so and so is or is not your husband/wife. (Colossians 3:15)
9. Do you have full confidence and assurance that God has spoken this? Pretty much, do you feel like even if everything showed that there is no WAY this guy could be your husband you could wait and trust fully that God will bring things to fruition? If you said yes to this and passed the other questions, this guy very well may be your husband because if God wants us to do something(like wait patiently on Him), He will give us the faith to believe He will complete the work He has started. (Hebrews 11)
10. Has God given you the patience to wait? If you follow the story of Jacob, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Rachael was meant to be his wife. There were conditions to marrying her, and that was that he would have to work 7 years just to have her! This guy knew so much that he wanted this woman that he ended up working through that time period. The thing about this story is that he was tricked into marrying her older sister and still agreed to work 7 more years so that he could keep Rachael. Sometimes God will test your ability to wait a bit before He actually gives you what He promised. As stated before, you should not find yourself growing increasingly impatient if you have brought what has been spoken to you before God and continue to go to God to refill your peace and patience.

God will cause what He desires to happen. What is meant for you is meant for you, no one can take it from you. So whether God promised you a specific husband, house, or children, know that He will give you the strength, faith, and patience to wait on what He wants you to have. Don’t grow weary in waiting and trusting in Him and guard your heart against the enemy’s tactics.

Note: Hey guys, sorry I missed May’s update! Just needed some time to recharge 😀 If you want more frequent updates please check out my instagram account because I’m a bit more active there! God bless!